Can't Stop the Signal–My 10 Favorite Quotes from Firefly

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Okay, I have no idea why, but in the last few days I’ve gotten a severe case of Firefly on the brain.  So, just for the heck of it, I’ve put together a list of my 10 favorite quotes from Joss Whedon’s sci-fi western.  It wasn’t easy…as with Whedon’s other shows, I could probably have come up with 10 favorite quotes for each character (but hey, a guy’s gotta sleep and eat).  There are two rules: (1) the quotes had to come from Firefly and not Serenity, and (2) they had to be single quotes, not dialogue (okay, I cheated on this one, but only because #3 is something of an in-joke).

10. “Take me Captain.  Take me hard.” –Zoe, “War Stories”

When Mal and Wash are kidnapped and tortured, Wash insists that the only way he and Zoe can be happy as husband and wife is if Zoe sleeps with Mal. 

9. “I love my captain.” –Kaylee, “Serenity” (the pilot, not the movie)

Kaylee does love her captain…and because she loves Mal, so do we.

8. “To Jayne!  The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.” –Simon, “Jaynestown”

Simon’s one of those characters that grew on me the more I watched the show.  His drunken toast to Jayne almost makes up for not making a move on Kaylee sooner (seriously, dude, what the hell?).

7. “I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.” –Mal, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

Just when you think seeing Mal and Jayne playing a married couple (with Mal as the missus, nonetheless) couldn’t be funnier, Mal swears by his “pretty floral bonnet.”

6. “Were there monkeys?  Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got lose?” –Mal, “The Train Job”

Monkeys (space or otherwise) are always hy-larious!

5. “If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell.  A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.” –Shepherd Book, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

This is the line that made me a fan of Book.

4. “Also, I can kill you with my brain.” –River, “Trash”

Maybe she can, maybe she can’t…but Jayne probably won’t be taking any chances (and even if River can’t kill us with her brain, she does a damned good job with a gun, an axe, and her bare feet).

3. “Wash, tell me I’m pretty.”

    “Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.”

    “‘Cause I’m pretty?”

    “‘Cause you’re pretty.” — Kaylee and Wash, “Heart of Gold”

The only exception to Rule #2.  Why?  Because it’s Wash and Kaylee.  ‘Nuff said.

2. “We gotta go to the crappy town where I’M a hero!” –Wash, “Jamestown”

I have no idea why I love this quote…I just do.

1. “I’ll be in my bunk.” –Jayne, “War Stories”

This quote sums up the character of Jayne Cobb better than anything else I can think of.  Plus, it’s useful in so many situations (and people who’ve never seen the show know exactly what you’re getting at).

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13 responses to “Can't Stop the Signal–My 10 Favorite Quotes from Firefly

  1. Because I love the sibling relationship so much, I have to add Simon’s “Well, you’re a dummy.”

    But otherwise, you hit the best ones.

    Oh wait, Jayne’s “Make up something. Don’t tell them what I did.” Can’t forget that.

  2. Thanks.

    And, let’s not forget River’s “Sad little king of a sad little hill.” and “Keep walking, preacher-man.” Or Mal’s “But she was naked and all…articulate.”

    See, it’s hard.

  3. How about favorite quotes from Firefly that aren’t from the major characters?

    Like Early’s response to Simon’s “you’re out of your mind.”

    “That’s between me and my mind.”

  4. Oh…upping the ante?

    I’ve always liked this one from the old guy in “Shindig”:

    “What a vision you are in your fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into that getup. ‘Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy’s wink to get you out of it again.”

    Or Monty’s “I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!” from “Trash.”

  5. Oooo, good ones! Badger’s, “I didn’t flash my ass at the gorram law!”
    or Saffron’s “But face it, hubby, I’m really hot.”

  6. Badger and Yo-Saff-Brig…two of my favorite recurring characters on any show.

    Here’s another good one (I think I’m paraphrasing a bit) from Stitch to Simon in “Jaynestown”:
    “Look at me, you panty-waist idgit! Do I look like a ‘Sir’ to you?”

    See how hard it was to pick just 10!

  7. Okay, another one that deserves at least an honorable mention is Mal to Saffron “I’ve seen you without your clothes. I never thought I’d see you naked.”

  8. The Operative: Do you know what your sin is Mal?
    Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Ah Hell… I’m a fan of all seven. But right now… I’m gonna have to go with wrath.

  9. Or, Mr Universe, “The guy killed me Mal. Killed me with a sword… how weird is that?!”

  10. Great list. Some others of my favorites:
    -‘The girl’s a witch.’ ‘Yeah, but she’s our witch, so cut her ‘er the hell down.’-Safe
    -‘Shiny. Let’s be bad guys.’-Movie Serenity
    -‘Oh my God, it’s grotesque. And there’s something in a jar.’-The Message
    -‘Well, my days of taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.’-Our Mrs. Reynolds

  11. “Well my days of not taking you seriously, are definitely to a middle.” Mal to Jayne as Jayne offers Mal Vera (the gun) in trade for “Mrs Reynolds”

  12. I don’t believe this has not been mentioned, “That’s why I never kiss them on the mouth.” Jayne, in “Our Mrs Reynolds”

    If you go back and look at this scene, watch everyone’s response. There is a moment of disbelief, then everyone unanimously decides to pretend they never heard it!

  13. An honorable mention for Wash:
    Wash: “Everything looks good from here… (beat…playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive.”
    (as Stegosaurus) “We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… ‘This Land’.”
    (as T-Rex) “I think we should call it…your grave!”
    (Stegosaurus) “Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
    (T-Rex) “Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh…now die!”

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