Tag Archives: Serenity

Four on the Floor #11: Speeches to Make When You Are As Mad As Hell and Not Going to Take it Anymore

The Situation: The chips are down. The odds are stacked against you. But, you know what you have to do is right. It’s important. And, you need to convince your friends, crew, soldiers, or whoever that your course of action is the right one. What do you do? Well, you make a rousing speech. It doesn’t need to be long, or pretty, but it does need to get the blood pumping.

The Criteria: Speeches are a dime a dozen. But, only a handful get that spine-tingling, heart-racing response you’re looking for. They are the kind of speeches that, no matter how many times you here them, they still make you want to stand up and cheer. They’re the kind of speeches that you can repeat, more or less, word for word.

1. “It’s our time down here”–Mikey Walsh (The Goonies)

2. “Today, we celebrate our Independence Day”–President Whitmore (Independence Day)

3. “The line must be drawn here”–Captain Picard (Star Trek: First Contact)

4. “I aim to misbehave”–Mal Reynolds (Serenity)

I have no idea why I couldn’t find this clip anywhere on the internet…come on, internet, what gives? So, instead, we’ll just have to settle with the transcript (unless anyone knows where I can find a clip):

“This report is maybe twelve years old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there’s a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They’re gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten, they’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people…better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave.”

Welcome to the Gorram 'Verse…

Check out graphic designer Geoffrey Mandel’s Firefly/Serenity-related work:

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He’s done a load of other TV and sci-fi related work, too. Apparently he wrote and illustrated the book of Star Trek star charts–which, sadly, I own. I wonder if we could convince him to give the same treatment to everyone’s favorite sci-fi western.

Four on the Floor #8: The Best Rides That Don't Exist

The Situation: You need to get from Point A to Point B and, let’s face it, you want to do it in style. Sure, there are plenty of pretty sweet rides out there–personally, I’m partial to Dodge Chargers and Ford Mustangs–but, some of the most kick-ass ways to get around just don’t exist in the real world.

The Criteria: It’s pretty simple: a vehicle that doesn’t exist or an existing vehicle that’s been modified beyond the capabilities of current technology. Which means that, as awesome as the General Lee is, it was still just a regular old ’69 Charger. For my own purposes, I’m also disqualifying the TARDIS because I’ve always felt it was a tad bit more than a regular ship.

1. Doc Brown’s De Lorean (Back to the Future I, II, & III)

I’m too young to remember the original De Lorean, but just the right age to have been obsessed with the time machine that Emmett L. Brown built into one. A regular De Lorean might have been cool, but slap on a flux capacitor, grab some plutonium and get that puppy up to 88 mph and it’s about 85% cooler. It’s a car and a time machine…and it could fly!

2. K.I.T.T. (Knight Rider)

The idea of a talking sports car that fights crime could only have been born in the Eighties, a.k.a. The Era of the Most Awesome Storytelling Ever. As a kid, there was nothing better than the thought that there’s a car out there that could drive itself, Turbo Boost over bad guys, and help you do your math homework.

3. Serenity (Firefly & Serenity)

She might not look like much on the outside–in fact, Serenity kind of looks like a bigger version of the tinfoil ducks that fancy restaurants put your leftovers in–but there’s just something about her. She doesn’t have any weapons, but she’s got heart. And, as spaceships go, she’s the closest you’re going to get to a “home.” Plus, she has a damned cute mechanic.

4. The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, The Return of the Jedi)

Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve had a lifelong love affair with this ship. Not only did the Falcon make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs, but she’ll make .5 past lightspeed. She’s the muscle car of sci-fi, with enough firepower and balls to go head-to-head against an entire squadron of TIE fighters or an Imperial Star Destroyer. The fact that the Falcon is held together with spit and good intentions and tends to break-down at the least opportune times just adds to her character.

Can't Stop the Signal–My 10 Favorite Quotes from Firefly

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Okay, I have no idea why, but in the last few days I’ve gotten a severe case of Firefly on the brain.  So, just for the heck of it, I’ve put together a list of my 10 favorite quotes from Joss Whedon’s sci-fi western.  It wasn’t easy…as with Whedon’s other shows, I could probably have come up with 10 favorite quotes for each character (but hey, a guy’s gotta sleep and eat).  There are two rules: (1) the quotes had to come from Firefly and not Serenity, and (2) they had to be single quotes, not dialogue (okay, I cheated on this one, but only because #3 is something of an in-joke).

10. “Take me Captain.  Take me hard.” –Zoe, “War Stories”

When Mal and Wash are kidnapped and tortured, Wash insists that the only way he and Zoe can be happy as husband and wife is if Zoe sleeps with Mal. 

9. “I love my captain.” –Kaylee, “Serenity” (the pilot, not the movie)

Kaylee does love her captain…and because she loves Mal, so do we.

8. “To Jayne!  The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.” –Simon, “Jaynestown”

Simon’s one of those characters that grew on me the more I watched the show.  His drunken toast to Jayne almost makes up for not making a move on Kaylee sooner (seriously, dude, what the hell?).

7. “I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.” –Mal, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

Just when you think seeing Mal and Jayne playing a married couple (with Mal as the missus, nonetheless) couldn’t be funnier, Mal swears by his “pretty floral bonnet.”

6. “Were there monkeys?  Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got lose?” –Mal, “The Train Job”

Monkeys (space or otherwise) are always hy-larious!

5. “If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell.  A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.” –Shepherd Book, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

This is the line that made me a fan of Book.

4. “Also, I can kill you with my brain.” –River, “Trash”

Maybe she can, maybe she can’t…but Jayne probably won’t be taking any chances (and even if River can’t kill us with her brain, she does a damned good job with a gun, an axe, and her bare feet).

3. “Wash, tell me I’m pretty.”

    “Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.”

    “‘Cause I’m pretty?”

    “‘Cause you’re pretty.” — Kaylee and Wash, “Heart of Gold”

The only exception to Rule #2.  Why?  Because it’s Wash and Kaylee.  ‘Nuff said.

2. “We gotta go to the crappy town where I’M a hero!” –Wash, “Jamestown”

I have no idea why I love this quote…I just do.

1. “I’ll be in my bunk.” –Jayne, “War Stories”

This quote sums up the character of Jayne Cobb better than anything else I can think of.  Plus, it’s useful in so many situations (and people who’ve never seen the show know exactly what you’re getting at).

I Love My Captain

Mal: Well, look at this!  Appears we got here just in the nick of time.  What does that make us?

Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir!

Mal: Ain’t we just?

The good folks over at Whedonesque posted a link to this video (most likely put together by a Browncoat) and I thought I’d help spread it a little further:

Marvel at how Joss Whedon always manages to get his leading men to take their shirts off…wonder how a cast can bleed so much and still survive…gaze at the glory of Jewel Staite and Summer Glau…stare in horror at Alan Tudyk’s porn-stache.