Category Archives: random shit

Top 10 Fictional Characters I Wouldn’t Mind Snogging at Midnight: 2016 Edition

It worked last year, so might as well do it again.

1. Cable McCrory

cable-mccrory

A snarky computer expert with an endless supply of flannel? Yeah, not my type at all.

2. Claire Temple

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I hear she likes coffee…

3. Jamie Campbell

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Spunky, redhead journalist? Sold. Plus, she clearly has a thing for brilliant-but-arrogant assholes…so, win.

4. Jesse Quick

jesse-quick

Love a woman in uniform.

5. Jessica Jones

jessica-jones

Jessica would snap me in half before the clock finished striking midnight. So. Worth. It.

6. Patterson

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We’d take a break from the Twilight Zone marathon…

7. Wanda Maximoff

wanda-maximoff

Maybe I didn’t fully get over my Goth/The Craft phase.

8. Jane Porter

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I regret nothing.

9. Ellie Bishop

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A quirky genius with an eidetic memory and a love of food? Yes, good.

10. Karen Page

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Drawn to closed-off men with deep psychological issues. Score!

BONUS: Lana Lang

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Ginger. Engineer. Superhero.

Top 10 Fictional Characters I Wouldn’t Mind Snogging at Midnight

In honor of New Year’s Eve, I thought I’d throw together a list of fictional characters I wouldn’t mind sharing a snog with at midnight.

1. Caitlin Snow

caitlin snow

The odds that we would both leave our safe places on the same night are slim…but, if it did happen, it was meant to be, right?

2. Cassandra Cillian

cassandra cillian

STEM ginger. ‘Nuff said.

3. Thea Queen

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Thea’s still a little stabby…but it would be worth the risk.

4. Amy Santiago

amy santiago

Snogging at midnight, followed by days of filling out paperwork and filing reports…I’m in!

5. Patty Spivot

patty pivot

SPIVOT! We’d have to stop babbling awkwardly to actually get to the kiss, but I think we could handle it.

6. Rey

rey

Not entirely sure how this would work, but…

7. Kara Danvers

kara danvers

Not Supergirl. This is an important distinction.

8. Bobbi Morse

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I’ve got a thing for scientists. Especially amazonian scientists who could kick my ass without breaking a sweat.

9. Linda Park

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Linda is super awesome. Man…what is in the water in Central City?!?

10. Jessica Warren

jessica warren

It might take some work to get over the weird home-schooled commune thing, but there is our mutual love of BSG.

 

Captain Whiz Bang: Five Actresses Who Could Play Captain Marvel

With Marvel’s recent announcement of a Captain Marvel movie coming our way in 2018, the hunt is on for an actress to fill the lead role of Carol Danvers, the USAF pilot-turned-superhero.

Here are five actresses who could do some serious damage as Captain Marvel.

1. Katee Sackhoff

Katee Sackhoff (Victoria "Vic" Moretti

If there’s a female version of Nathan Fillion, it’s Sackhoff. Her name is tossed around any project with even the slightest hint of “geek appeal.” Kara “Starbuck” Thrace, Sackhoff’s Battlestar Galactica character, is the spiritual cousin of Carol Danvers: a hotshot pilot ready to punch her way out of any problem that her mouth gets her in.

2. Yvonne Strahovski

yvonne strahovski

Strahovski, like Sackhoff, has already played a Danvers-esque character on television. Chuck‘s Sarah Walker punched, kicked, and shot her way through spies and assassins. If there’s one difference between Walker and Starbuck, it’s that Strahovski played her role with a little less insubordination.

3. Jennifer Morrison

jennifer morrison

Perhaps best known for her work on House and How I Met Your Mother, Jennifer Morrison has spent the last several years fighting dragons and evil queens on Once Upon A Time. Morrison could bring a more world-weary, seen-it-all approach to Carol.

4. Katheryn Winnick

katheryn winnick

Vikings‘ Winnick has expressed an interest in entering the Marvel Cinematic Universe, going so far as to post some fanart. Not only is Winnick experienced with action roles, but she’s also a skilled martial artist in what you people call “the real world.”

5. Jeri Ryan

jeri ryan

Jeri Ryan certainly has the genre cred. She’s also known for playing powerful, no-nonsense women capable of holding their own in a room full of men. How much would you be willing to pay to see Ryan’s Danvers go toe-to-toe with RDJ’s Tony Stark?

Honorary Mention: Natalie Dormer

The Heat - Gala Screening - Red Carpet Arrivals

There’s a fairly vocal group of Dormer fans pushing for her to land the role of Captain Marvel. Personally, I’d rather see her play the Enchantress. But, that’s just me.

Diversity in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

First things first: Marvel Comics is doing some great things in terms of diversity in their books. Sam Wilson will soon be the new Captain America, Thor’s hammer will be passed to a woman who will take up the role of Thunderer/Protector of Midgard, and there’s a growing number of titles that focus on women and people of color: Black WidowCaptain Marvel, The Mighty AvengersElektraShe-HulkMs. MarvelAll-New Ghost Rider, etc.

And that’s great. The only problem is that this push for diversity seems to stop right before it reaches the doors of Marvel Studios. Sure, Black Widow has been kick-ass in Iron Man 2Avengers, and Captain American: The Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier also gave us the aforementioned Sam Wilson. There’s also Sif, who was not only amazing in both Thor movies, but even crossed over to the small screen to appear in an episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. However, to date, all of Marvel’s movies have focused on a white dude or a collection of white dudes with maybe a woman (or raccoon or giant tree monster) thrown in for good measure.

So, what’s the problem? The folks at Marvel Studios has claimed that it’s a question of momentum. They have several plates spinning at once (another Thor movie, another Captain America movie, two more Avengers movies, not to mention the new Guardians of the Galaxy franchise), and they’re worried about breaking the pace of these franchises. I’m not gonna lie, I kind of see their point. But, I see a few golden opportunities on the horizon for, if nothing else, a movie for Black Panther and a movie for Captain Marvel.

Wakanda, Vibranium, and the Black Panther

At this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, the following prop was on display at the Marvel booth–

Now, it’s unclear if Cap’s iconic shield is actually shattered during the events of Age of Ultron, or if it’s some kind of dream/nightmare/illusion. Captain America’s shield has been broken several times in the comics. Sometimes it’s repaired by Doctor Strange’s mystical know-how, sometimes it’s repaired by a cadre of Asgardian dwarfs, and sometimes it’s repaired by the advanced science of Wakanda. So, my hope is that Cap’s shield is broken and the post-credit scene of Avengers 2 involves Steve and Tony traveling to Wakanda in order to ask King T’Challa, who happens to be an old friend of Tony’s, to help them repair the shield. That would open the door for a Black Panther movie. Maybe the plot would involve a battle over Wakanda’s vibranium supply, hopefully including the villainous Ulysses Klaw or some new faction of Hydra or AIM.

The Kree, Mar-Vell, and Captain Marvel

This week’s Guardians of the Galaxy–which is amazing fun, by the way–introduces movie audiences to one of Marvel’s classic alien species, the Kree.

The first season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D also included the corpse of something that’s clearly a member of the Kree race–

KREE

So, the Kree have clearly been to Earth. Perhaps they are a continuing presence, lurking in the background. That means that undercover Kree agent, Mar-Vell, could easily appear in the upcoming season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

And, if the first season finale can include Nick Fury and Maria Hill, the second season finale can include the incident that transfers a portion of Mar-Vell’s Kree powers to kick-ass U.S. Air Force officer Carol Danvers and, BOOM!, a Captain Marvel movie.

Mark Ruffalo, Blood Transfusions, and Sensational Cousins

Everyone agrees that Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner was the breakout character in Avengers. Since then, everyone has been itching for another solo Hulk movie. I say that’s a bad idea. Hulk is an expensive character to have as the lead in a movie, that’s why he usually doesn’t show up until the third act. Instead, I say use Ruffalo’s draw to open a She-Hulk movie. Banner visits his cousin Jennifer Walters, an up-and-coming lawyer in Washington, DC. When the opposition in Jennifer’s biggest case to date tries to kill her, only a blood transfusion from her cousin can save her life (and change it forever)–

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list. A solo movie for Black Widow has been sort of promised. I’d pay to see a movie about Spider-Woman. Or a solo Sif movie. I’d also do horrible things to your loved ones if it got me a movie about Rikki Barnes and Eli Bradley. And, I know that Marvel may be doing this movie or may be casting that character, but it doesn’t count until I see footage.

Basically, all I’m saying is this: Get on this, Marvel Studios. It ain’t that hard.

After Ultron: What I Would Like to See from Future Avengers Movies

Kevin Feige, the president of Marvel Studios, recently said that the studio has Marvel movies planned as far as 2028. This may seem ambitious to some, downright insane to others. Personally, I think it could work. And, before everyone starts using words like rebootrecast, and whatever other r-words have become hopelessly spot-welded to conversations about movie franchises, I’ll give you two very good reasons why it could.

First, there is a lot of source material that Marvel can work with. A lot. And, if this summer’s Guardians of the Galaxy rakes in an astronomical amount of cash, that’s pretty much a giant green light for Marvel to go ahead and mine some of its more esoteric characters (and, believe me, I have a list).

Second, if you consider the Avengers movies as “the point” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe–that every other movie Marvel makes is either a lead-in to, or a denouement of, an Avengers movie–then I have great news for you. The Avengers has–and has always had–a rotating roster. (This is something that Feige and Friends sorta implied way back around the time the first Avengers movie was coming out.) So, even if Robert Downey, Jr. doesn’t sign a new contract or Chris Evans takes an extended break from acting, that doesn’t mean there can’t be any more Avengers movies.

So, after Phase Three is complete and we have an Avengers trilogy, I present to you Phase Four: The Era of the New Avengers.

You have two characters who can serve as a linchpin for a new roster of Avengers (three, depending on how that whole Netflix thing shakes out): Falcon and Bucky. So, you bring back Anthony Mackie as Sam Wilson/Falcon and Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier/Captain America.

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From here, I’d add Terry Crews as Luke Cage,

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Meghan Ory as Jessica Drew/Spider-Woman,

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Beth Riesgraf as Bobbi Morse/Mockingbird,

 

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and Yvonne Strahovski as Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel.

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That’s it. That would be my Avengers team for a second trilogy of movies.

Dressing An Amazon: What Should Wonder Woman’s Big-Screen Costume Look Like?

Earlier today, the good folks over at The Mary Sue posted an article in which the costume designer for Man of Steel 2 (Kryptonian Boogaloo?) briefly discusses Wonder Woman’s costume. The quote seems to imply that they’ll be looking at historical sources for inspiration.

This is good news.

Now, I have no problems with Diana’s classic comic costume. But, its functionality begins and ends with the comic page (or the animation cel). For a live-action Wonder Woman (just like for a live-action Spider-Man, Superman, or Captain America), you need to tweak the costume. But, tweaking doesn’t mean making radical alterations. You can create a realistic, functional costume that still uses the character’s classic iconography.

Let’s start with the main part of the costume. If I were making a Wonder Woman movie or television show, I’d start with a cuirass of banded red leather. The chest and shoulders would have an additional layer of harder leather. A golden eagle provides additional protection to the chest and torso. A golden girdle/belt forms the classic WW. Lastly, we have a studded war skirt of dark blue leather, the silver studs creating the star-spangled effect of Diana’s comic costume.

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The tiara would remain relatively unchanged (I mean, how much can you change a tiara?). I’d make sure it was large enough to not only keep Diana’s hair out of her eyes while she’s kicking ass, but also provide a bit of protection in case she needs to take someone out with an Amazonian headbutt.

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As for Diana’s trademark bracelets, I’d turn them into some serious bracers that take up most of her forearms, not to mention the backs of her hands. For a little touch of Ancient Greece, I’d add a stylized owl to the bits that cover Diana’s hands–Zeus’ eagle and Athena’s owl should give Wonder Woman enough Olympian backup when things get tough.

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Now…I have horrible feet. They’re flat. They’re too wide for most shoes. They’re attached to weak ankles. So, I don’t know how people wear some of the footwear that I see out in the world, much less how half of the superheroes get around in the shoes they wear. Anyway… For Wonder Woman’s boots, I’d continue the modernization of ancient kit. A red leather upper with a flat reinforced sole and a hardened leather shaft, with a reinforced shin, that continues up to the knee.

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Welp…that’s just my two cents. For what it’s worth.

Yet Another 10 Fictional Characters I Would Totally Marry

Every so often, I like to make lists of fictional characters who I would totally marry. I wanted to post this for Valentine’s Day, but I didn’t get around to compiling the newest list until a few days ago.

1. Jemma Simmons

Jemma Simmons

Oh, Agent Simmons. You are smart. You are awkward. You are British. You have a closet full of ties and sweaters. What’s not to love?

2. Snow White

Snow White

In the world of Jim C. Hines’ Princess novels, Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty are secret agents working for Cinderella’s mother-in-law, Queen Beatrice. Snow is feisty and flirty. She fights the forces of evil using mirror magic and throwing stars shaped like snowflakes.

3. Myka Bering

Myka Bering

If Hermione Granger were American, she would be Myka Bering. Myka loves the rules and is a bit of a nerd (and she has the insanely adorable glasses to prove it). But, she can also kick serious ass when she has to, especially if it means wielding Excalibur.

4. Martha Jones

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Martha Jones: The Companion That Fans Forgot. She’s a doctor and she works for UNIT…she’s basically a 21st century Liz Shaw. Gotta love a doctor.

5. Raine Benares

Raine Benares

Raine is an elf, a magic-user, and a seeker (which basically means she’s a private detective). She’s also a bit of a rogue, which happens when most of your relatives are pirates. Raine knows her way around a sword fight, something that comes in handy when her mouth gets her into trouble. Which happens quite a bit.

6. The Mother

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The Mother is both perfect for Ted and too good for him. Okay, maybe that last part is a bit unfair…but, gosh, she’s so freaking awesome.

7. Anna

Anna

I had to create a whole system of royal succession for Arendelle in order to convince myself that Anna is at least 18.

8. Sif

THOR

The thing I love most about Sif (other than the fact that she is gorgeous and armed) is that she fights for the same reason every other Asgardian does. She’s not out there to avenge a murdered lover or child. No. She’s fighting because she likes it, because she’s good at it, and because it’s what her people do.

9. Clara Oswin Oswald

Clara Oswin Oswald

The dimples are irresistible. But, on top of that, Clara’s fashion sense would probably mean I’d spend the rest of my life looking pretty darned dapper.

10. Tauriel

Tauriel

Redhead. Archer. Shut up.